Assignment 1a: Descriptive Reflection
Subject: Introductory Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Robinchloe Lagrisola, and I am writing
this letter to formally introduce myself as one of your current students. I
graduated in May of this year from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in
mechanical engineering. When I was young, I played with my toys
unconventionally by dismantling and assembling them again in the correct order
using common hand tools. As I grew older, I was able to build computers, repair
bicycles, or even troubleshoot the circuit breaker during a power trip at home.
Hence, this started to fuel my interest in the study of engineering, which is
why I am currently still studying mechanical engineering for my bachelor's
degree here at SIT.
One of my communication strengths is that I have a
solid foundation for writing reports, letters, and research papers. This is due
to the experiences I have had during my time at polytechnic and my internship,
where I have written reports on laboratory results and hypotheses, research on
certain materials and manufacturing processes, and many more. However, there is
always room for improvement, one of which is in my presentation skills. There
are times when I would lose confidence or the ability to read clearly when
presenting, which can affect my overall performance. One reason is that I am a
quiet and reserved person, which makes me uncomfortable speaking in front of
people. To combat this, I take deep breaths before speaking and concentrate
more on delivering a good performance rather than the fear itself.
This fits nicely with my goal for this module,
which is to be more confident in speaking publicly and presenting in front of
an audience. Specifically, I want to get rid of the jittery feeling I get
before my name gets called up in front. Another goal in mind is to widen my use
of vocabulary and sentence structures to create more variety in my writing.
This is to prevent repetitiveness when I am writing a few thousand words, like
in research papers. Personally, I feel that these goals are examples of the fundamental
skills needed to effectively communicate, not only in school but for our future
careers as well.
What differentiates me is that as an international student, who climbed his way through Singapore’s education system, I believe that one’s fate can only be influenced through diligence and hard work. When I first started studying in Singapore, I struggled adapting to the changes in my environment at an early age, particularly the education system and language, where I am not used speaking in english especially with singlish accent. I faced many failures in exams, difficulty understanding my teachers and conversing with classmates. However, these experiences taught me a valuable lesson that I still carry on to this day.
Now, I am ever more determined to give my best effort in this final chapter of my education. I look forward to attending your classes and learning more than pressing buttons on my calculator. Thank you.
Best Regards,
Robin
Hey Robin, I think your letter was fantastic, reading it lets me feel like we're in a networking session and I'm getting the low-down of your life, there are however certain instance where i felt the letter might flow abit bettter if worded differently such as in the first paragraph where you talked about your unconvential way of play with toys i felt maybe wording it as, " I had an unconventional way of playing with toys...." but that honestly might just be personal preference. other than that i think it was great, your goals where very well articulated, and yeah great all round.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Adam
Hi Adam,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter as well as giving your own thoughts on it.
I too have read your letter and I feel that it was great and interesting knowing more about your personal life too!
To the particular sentence you have mentioned, I felt that it was more of a personal preference too as both are grammatically correct as well. However, I will still take your feedback into account so that I could use the same/similar sentence structure into my work in the future to create more variety :)
Hey Robin, for content wise I feel that you really explained all the pointers. Especially when you explained your interest in engineering and also your goals you have for this module. However, I feel that you could have add on more to what differentiates you from others. Your letter was very clear and concise, with appropriate language use and good organisation. Overall, I enjoyed reading your letter as I relate to what you said "one's fate can only be influenced through diligence and hard work". I agree that to achieve something big in life, we must always work hard and stay disciplined. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Shaun,
DeleteThank you for your feedback to my letter. I am glad we are able to relate with each other in terms of work ethic.
In the "what differentiates you from others" section, I felt that I did not specify and elaborate it enough.
In my letter, what differentiates me is that being an international student from the age of 10, I struggled adapting to the environment around me such as the education system, language barrier (I was not fluent in English/unfamiliar with singlish accent) and etc. Therefore, in my early years in primary school, I faced many failures especially math exams ironically.
Fortunately, I was able to land into express stream in secondary school. So to answer your question, through this difficult time, I was able to pull myself out of it at a young age. From there, I understood the meaning of hardwork and discipline. This mindset carried on throughout the rest of my educational background.
Hey Robin, I like your letter everything was clear and concise with the appropriate tone! I managed to find out more about you after reading this. However just like what Shaun has mentioned above, i think you can be clearer with what differentiate you from the rest by adding in more content! All in all, i think this is a well written letter! ^^
ReplyDeleteHi Zhou Min,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter and giving valuable feedback.
To reiterate what I have replied to Shaun's comment is that I have faced many struggles in my early years studying in Singapore. Factors like the new education system and language made it especially hard for me back then.
Despite all these challenges, I still saw a purpose on why I had to work hard, which is to become an engineer one day. It was my dream as a kid and it's still is. Now, I only have a few more steps to get there, and you as well!
Thanks much, Robin, for this well focused and highly informative letter. You provide a plethora of supporting details for your main points, so that we readers get a good sense of who you are. I'm impressed by the description of how step by step you took an interest in disassembling toys to repairing and building other devices to your current study path in MEC.
ReplyDeleteAs a foreigner I can also relate to the social and eduactional challenegs you have described when detailing your need to adjust to the Singapore education system.
You certainly come across as being 'determined' in this letter, which is a hugely important attribute.
Your letter is also informative in terms of how you have explained your comm skills needs and the way those tie to your module goals.
The language here is generally fluent, but there is one issue with sentence structure:
-- Particularly the education system and language, where I am not used speaking in english especially with singlish accent. > (fragment) ?
I look forward to working with you further this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Hi Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my introduction letter and relating with my social and educational challenges.
I have also updated my letter with the feedback you have provided. Thank you!